In chapter 2 of Esther we see the king makes a decision to find a new wife. There is actually a considerable length of time between chapter 1 and 2 and the king and his army has been soundly defeated in a war. He has returned home and now realizes the loneliness of being without a mate.
The king’s advisors suggested that “beautiful young virgins” from throughout the kingdom be brought into his harem and he would chose one that pleased him. In 2:14 we learned that a young lady would go in with the king in the evening and leave in the morning and she would not go in again unless the “king delighted in her”. This passage suggests that the king was only interested in the physical attributes of the ladies and is certainly not the way God wants us to choose a mate.
Actually, God has chosen a mate for each of us who He desires to be married. It is our responsibility to seek His direction until He reveals that person to us. First, as Christians, we can be sure that God does not want us to marry someone who does not know Jesus as their personal Savior. II Cor. 6:14 says “do not be yoked together with unbelievers”.
There are a couple of passages in the New Testament that tells a woman what to look for in a husband. Eph. 5:25 says that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church. That statement has deep meaning when we reflect on the fact that Christ loved us so much He was willing to die for us. Later it also says that the “man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Your husband must be willing for you to become the most important person in his life other than Jesus Christ. I Peter 3:7 says that husbands should be considerate as they live with their wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs of the gracious gift of life. I think that being considerate means to honor.
Both of these passages speak of the wife being “submissive”. I think that means she should respect her husband and allow him to be the family leader. Ephesians compares that leadership to Christ’s leadership of the church. I Peter speaks of the wife having a “gentle and quiet spirit”.
If God has led you to your life-mate, thank Him every day for that and pray faithfully for him/her each day.
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